


Dear Son Hyunwoo

by Lina_Anin



Category: Kpop - Fandom, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Drinking, M/M, Model Chae Hyungwon, Photographer Yoo Kihyun, Sad with a Happy Ending, Showki, Soldier Hoseok, Soldier Shownu, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 18:15:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18922438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lina_Anin/pseuds/Lina_Anin
Summary: Dear Son Hyunwoo,Today It is raining, as usually is this time of the month. The room is very dark, the sunlight was trying to come in between the windows, unceremoniously.  Photos that once were exhibit proudly were turn upside down, the walls of what was our room was crushing me with pain, they were once fulled with your laugh,  deep voice, screams…Now, empty.I was here waiting for you to return, all those days and I was here, looking at the same door that you left, not wanting to accept the truth...





	Dear Son Hyunwoo

**Author's Note:**

> Hey This is not my first Showki fic, they are my OTP, but I used to write in Wattpad, now I'm writing in both Kkk.  
> If you want you can check my work there as well, @sondpayne. https://www.wattpad.com/user/sondpayne  
> These one-shot is based on a fanart by @all_taste7 (twitter).  
> Enjoy!

_Dear Son Hyunwoo,_

_Today is raining, as usually is this time of the month. The room is very dark, the sunlight was trying to come in between the windows, unceremoniously. Photos that once were exhibit proudly were turned upside down, the walls of what was once our room are crushing me with pain. It used to be filled with your laugh, deep voice, screams, now its just me…_

_The funny thing was that once we had a little fight about what should be the color of our bedroom, you wanted a bright color and I wanted a simple and organized white. Now, these colorless walls at these empty room keep reminding me of you, that you are now gone._

_People keep saying to me; We can get used to everything, it will pass, the pain will eventually disappear, you will forget… But the thing is that I don’t want to forget, I couldn’t get used to you sleeping all these years by my side, how could I get used of you being gone? Im broken. The voices of our friends come and go,but the only thing that is present is the fact that I'm now, alone._

_You, you bastard, you made me love you, you followed me around and made me fall for you. Now, what do I do with these? These feelings that are burning my insides, the wish of seeing your face again, that stupid smile that would make your small eyes disappear, that dam big body that used to keep me warm._   
_I wish I could touch you, again and again, like we used to do every day, touch your dummy bed hair when you wake, caress your tummy which made you giggle, kiss that big lip of yours, mark your neck with my lips… All these things I took it for granted, we didn't do enough, did we? But can you blame me, you are the one who went away…_   
_How could you leave me? How can you be gone after all this time? What will I do without… you once told me in bed after sex, when I asked you, scared, what would happen if we ever broke up, you told me that a heart that's broken is a heart that's been loved. But we didn't break up, did we?_   
_No, we didn’t, I was here waiting for you to return, all those days and I was here, looking at the same door that you left, that you used to leave me every time saying. “I will come back, I always do…”. Well, these time you didn't and I can't even argue with you, saying that I was right, begging for you not to leave. “What if these time you can't fulfill you promise?” I used to answer every time like it was a ritual._

_The last time you left I didn’t kiss you, I was mad that you had to leave one day after our three years anniversary. You kissed the top of my head as you would always do when we were fighting, and closed the door, I remember the sound of your steps as you went away, at that time I didn't know you would not come back. It has passed one week, two, three, without any news of you. And I wasn't scared, you’d always come back, remember that time that you went a whole month not being able to send any news. Remember how I kick you in the balls when you arrived home, remember we laughing after a while, and you saying that you have been away for so long dreaming of me touching you, and well it was different than you imagined, remember? Will I remember, I want to, I’m never letting go of the memories, is the only alive part I have of you now, I wish this time would be the same as the other, you would come back…_

_But then it came, I was at work with Minhyuk, editing some of the photos I took for the winter collection. It was then when three tall men in uniforms, just like yours, opened up the principal door caring a white envelope, I saw them coming to my office like it was in slow motion. I know that we shouldn't wish bad things for other people, but I just wanted them to go away, towards another person. I could not move as they entered the room looking at the ground, I didn't hear what they were saying, I didn’t need to hear, to know. They gave me the envelope and bowed. Minhyuk started crying before me, I was frozen, holding that stupid envelope. They say when you die your whole life flashes before you, I know I was not the one who died but all I could see was us. The first time I saw you, the first time we kissed, me asking you to be my boyfriend, you asking me to marry you, all of our kisses, fights, makeups, jokes, trips, embraces, you going thru our door, coming back to me as you always did… But you didn't these time, you left me for good._

_Now I'm here, two month's after your “funeral”, I didn't have your body to bury, just an empty coffin. Now I’m sitting alone at our bed, drinking all of the alcohol I could buy, and wishing all of the memories we had made in these seven years would fade away, disappear. I wish I could let you go, but you are mine and I'm yours forever. I really don’t know why I’m writing these letter, Changkyun said it would make it easier, bring me closure, I worry for him hyung, I worry for his silly mind, because how can I close my own life? Don't worry I'm not talking about suicide, not that I didn't think about it, but I don’t want to risk going to hell after I'm dead, if the Catholics are truly right about hell and heaven, you are truly in heaven._

_Jang Min is missing you as well, I always said that this kitten loved you more than me, now she sleeps at your closet, with your smell all over her. I don’t know if she knows that you're gone, but I can tell she misses you deeply, just like me._   
_The house is a mess and so am I, but these time you're not here to get me thru it all, to fix me, this time is just me._   
_I really don’t know how to end this letter. I'm sleeping at your side of the bed you know, and wearing your favorite hoodie. The rain is stopping now, and bringing that fresh air smell thru our bedroom the one that you’d loved, you would always open the window even if it was freezing outside. " I will keep you warm, don’t worry” I wish every day that I could feel your heat again, next to me, in this huge dam bed._

_The truth is that your love is my book, my letter, where only the sweetest words remain and every kiss is a cursive line, every touch is a redefining phrase and now my book is closed. I've waited a hundred years for your love but I'd wait a million more for you, when I die I hope of seeing you again, kiss you again, be with you all again._

_You're my soulmate, forever._   
_With all my heart._   
_Son Kihyun_

  
The sound of the paper folding was the last thing I’ve heard it before once more drowning myself to sleep, with my own tears.

**-one year since you’d left-**

The alarm was banging on my hangover head, signalizing it was Monday. I manage to get up being careful not to wake Jang Min, who was sleeping next to me. Then quickly went to take a shower, eat something, put food for the kitten, and grab my things. As I Look at the clock I could see that my hangover body had not been so quick, I was really late, late enough for not be able to get the bus.  
So I went to the now unused garage, seeing his car, I haven’t used that since…  
"I can not think about him right now, I need to get my shit together!" I say it out loud while shaking my head, a stupid attempt to forget what it is unforgettable. I turn the keys praying for the car to start, which it does after a few tries.  
It stills smells like his cologne, and still has traces of food on the floor. My head was racing, and I do not have time for this. Work! Think about work! I start to drive to work, trying to distract my sadness away, turning on the radio.  
As I Arrive late, once again, at work, I see Changkyun in front of my office with a disapproving look. “You're late! And is that Hyunwoo’s car?” He says with a weird look on his face. “Move, Yes It WAS his car,” I say mad and he follows me inside the office. “Sorry, is just that you’d haven’t used since” I interrupted him. “Since he died, a car has no use parked in the garage.” He puts his hand in my shoulder. “Your right.”. I was not angry with him, is just that seeing other people talking about him, saying his name, still hurts.

“Wow someone has been drinking!”Hyungwon says getting inside my office. “What are you doing here, your shoot is only at eleven,” I say trying to organize my desk. “Can't a friend say hello?” He says sitting at the chair in front of my desk. “Yes sorry, hangover, Minhyuk used me to get boys at the bar yesterday, I ended up drinking too much…” he laughs and Changkyun enters with papers. “The reports about the photos and where is Min by the way?” I nod sideways. “only god knows.” They laugh and start to talk as I was reading the reports. “That is a nice picture,” Hyungwon says pointing at a picture I took off Hyunwoo in the beach, he was looking at the sea with the most calming expression. “He was my best model,” I say and Hyungwon laughs. “He was a lot of things, but I'm your best model, don’t forget that.”A smile creeps my cheeks, it was nice to talk about him like that like it hasn't been a year without him, with people that loved him to.

Suddenly a screaming Minhyuk appears running all messed up, opening my door with full strength. “What bed did you wake up on this morning?” Hyungwon says laughing. “Where is your phone Kihyun!?” He screams and comes to me holding my face. “In my bag I think…” I say scared. “I called you a thousand times!” He is breathing fast. “I-Is Hyunwoo!” I rolled my eyes. “What about him?!” I scream at his face. “He is alive… they found him”

And there it was, the image, of you opening the door again, smiling, and waiting for me to greet you. We went running to your car, Hyungwon driving of course, I couldn’t even speak. Arriving at the hospital, all the walls were white, oh the irony. People running from here to there. Minhyuk was guiding me, I was looking at every door, looking for you. Then at a door at the end of the hallway Hoseok appears. I knew that was your door… I didn’t control my body, he missed you and I couldn’t blame it. I start to run, passing all these doors, until I found yours. A bright yellow was the color of the walls of your bedroom. You were looking at the window, with tears at your face, but with the same calm expression, you had on that beach day. Patches on your shoulder, leg, arm and even face. My knees start to tremble, and my eyes fill with tears, I wanted so bad to kick your balls right now. You turn your face and look deeply in my eyes, we both are crying. You tried to sit up, but the pain expression in your face told me it was impossible. I started to approach you, scared that if I touch you would fade away. “I'm dreaming…” I say with my voice trembling. “ If you are then I must be as well,” you say smiling with tears marking the patches.

Then you give me your hand and I take it, feeling your warm, your scent, your skin. My love.

I jump in you, like a frog, holding close to my heart, you hug me back, surrounding me with big arms. “You idiot! You idiot! You idiot! Don’t ever! EVER leave me again, or I will kill you” I say as you caress my skin, and breaths my neck. “God I missed you…” you are kissing my temple like you used to do a year ago. I start to scream crying harder, holding you, I could feel your tears in my shoulder, your body beneath mine. It was all real. “I promised you, I would come back, I always will come back!” Hugging me harder. “You are never leaving me again, do you hear me! I will imprison you in our home!” You laugh and kiss my lips, gently, it was a wet kiss because of the tears but it was that same lips that kissed me for the first time eight years ago. My lips. “Never again!” You say kissing me harder. The others entered the room after a while, I could not leave your lap, hug, smell. We were both still crying. They all climbed on top of us, a group hug.

Everyone crying, we all thought we had lost him. A friend, a buddy, a hyung, a appa, a lover, my soulmate. We hear a scream from the door, and then another person joined at our group hug, a crying senseless Jooheon. “Appa! Appa!” He said as hyung would caress his back looking at me fondly.

The doctor soon appears screaming, seeing all of us on top of Hyunwoo. We found out he was deeply wounded. The army then started apologizing for the mistakes. But I didn't care I had him again, he had returned to me as he promised. We could finally go home, together. And these time with no more goodbyes by the door.


End file.
